10. "Schools call 'em student-athletes, we just call 'em guilty as hell."
9. "Hey, that waterboarding thing could be good punishment for coaches who piss us off."
8. "Scrooge!? Ha! That guy was a wuss."
7. "In honor of our founder, we're changing our phone number to end in 6-6-6."
6. "Bowden's gonna have a coronary when he loses all those victories -- or at least, that's the idea."
5. "Bob here is the guy who sends out letters denying appeals and emails posing as a wealthy Nigerian Prince."
4. "Tell Urban we won't investigate as long as he mails us his soul, first born and left testicle."
3. "Yep, you can't spell 'uncaring cads' without n - c - a - a!"
2. "Our health insurance doesn't cover cardiologists because, DUH!, working here you'll never use your heart."
1. "Corey who?"
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