1. Well, at least FSU scored more than two points this time. Unfortunately OU scored more than thirteen. A LOT more than thirteen. But look at it this way. The Seminoles scored 7.5 times more points than in the prior meeting with the Sooners while OU scored only 2.6 times more points. We’re making progress!!! Does that help? Does it? Huh? Oh never mind …. I know the answer to that one.
2. If all you got to catch of the game was the postgame radio interviews with Gene Deckerhoff, you knew it was bad when there was no defensive star of the game interviewed and Dustin Hopkins was the offensive star whereupon they talked of the thrilling three touchback kickoffs Dustin had and of course his 51-yard field goal.
3. Just trying to help Part II. Perhaps if the defense actually got closer to the receivers and ball carriers. Say by about 15 yards closer.
4. On the bright side, after that totally non-existent performance last week against Samford, Shawn Powell punted well. That helps doesn’t it?
5. And speaking of punting, in making his prediction on the game, ESPN Gameday co-host Lee Corso said “OU may not punt the ball.” After those first five drives by OU that resulted in four straight touchdowns and a fumble, Corso was looking pretty good on that prediction.
6. Just trying to help Part III. Perhaps the “Whisper Drill” should be replaced by the “Screaming Wildly like a Banshee at the Top of Your Lungs Drill” to help the offense when on the road. At the very least it may distract the opponent’s defense.
7. Deckerhoff on the ACC’s second favorite officiating crew who had numerous issues in getting that fumble, no it was a pass, no it was fumble, let’s place the ball on the wrong yard line call: “Well Jack, you’re not having the best of days.” Gene, you’re telling us that crew has GOOD days????
8. Just trying to help Part III from the sage wit and wisdom of Mrs. BFT. Regarding the numerous wide open Sooners, “Perhaps if the OU players ran to where our guys are standing that would help.”
9. Lee Corso to Bobby Bowden who appeared as the guest predictor on Gameday after Bowden picked FSU to beat Oklahoma: “You still picked FSU? After what they did to you??”
10. Just trying to help Part IV. Again from Mrs. BFT you apparently assessed the ‘Noles problems this way. “The FSU band was not there. That’s half our problem right there.” PROBLEM SOLVED!!!! Oh, if it was only that simple.
Bonus Ubiquitously Random and Ultimately Meaningless Thoughts
12. On that Allstate commercial, the one where “Mayhem” is a fourth string QB who is now first string due to a bad batch of calamari consumed by the other QB’s and leads the team out of the locker room into the stadium but, however, is lost in the tunnels and leads them into the street, whereupon a driver crashes into a stand of motorcycles. Did you notice the disclaimer? “Demonstration. Do Not Attempt.” NOOOOO!!!!!!!! REALLY??????? Can’t you see it now? In my best Cletus impersonation, “Peggy Sue, go out and crank up the Mercury. We gotta go crash ourselves into a bunch a hogs.”
13. After the ACC’s poor showing this past weekend perhaps it should merge with another conference to boost its overall strength. Maybe the Big South Conference. No wait …… Virginia Tech may veto that one.
14. Memo to the Mississippi (Note to Alabama: spell checker is a wonderful thing) students doing the kick line during a happier moment in Thursday night’s game against Auburn: The Rockettes will NOT be calling.
15. Just trying to help Part V. To save time on coaches’ interviews (because we all know how repetitive they can become), can a code system be installed for the pat stock answers? All the coaches have to do in response to a reporter’s question is use the code that goes with the stock answer. Something like “Well coach, what do you think about your team’s chances as the season goes on?” Coach answers “A.” which translates to “We are taking it one game at a time.” Code B. could stand for “We are a work in progress.” C. “They came to play.” D. “We are going to put this game behind us.” (That last one would be particularly germane to FSU fans right about now.) Think of the time saved. Reporters would get their stories in well before the deadline. Coaches get to the film room faster. Fans could …. well, do whatever fans do when their team is not playing.